What happen when your best friend is getting married?

I had this news a few minutes ago. She told me there's something come in. but, I never thought it would be marriage announcement. For a moment, I couldn't speak. I tried to consume what the hell she was talking about.

"I'm getting married," she said just like those heroines in romantic comedy movies.

For some reason, I thought she betrays me. It's my ego talking. Years we've been sharing thoughts that marriage is a cage for woman. Judging from many people's marriages around us, it doesn't seem to bring happiness. In spite of giving hope, it cuts tie with many loveable things in our world. For some reason I'm not ready to tell you, I'm so not into marriage.

But, I understand the words that came out of her mouth; I really feel that this is the path she should take. She sounded so happy so I couldn't say any mean word.

The radio announcer just said about this a while ago. A best friend should know when to attack and when to defend her best friend. Is this the time for me to defend for her?  This is the right moment to show her that I really care and wish the best thing for her life.

Is this how dirin feel when iis got married? I'm not feeling jealous but I feel lonely. It seems like I'm no longer special for her (not that I was the center of her affection before). Because she's the center of my affection (when I'm conscious). She would be caring for someone else. And it's getting scarier as I write these words. I couldn't call her anytime in midnight like we used to do. I couldn't ask her to pay attention to me because she's not supposed to do so. I would be the numbered person after that guy.

if you reject/forfeit my invitation 3 times in a row, I don’t think I need you in my list.

Have I told you about a girl? She used to be my friend. We went to the same junior and high school. She’s a bright student, though she never gets my rank. She’s sweet and a homebody type. She’s totally my opposite who has hobby and always hang around simply because I have no responsibility to do at home. I’m the only daughter from a twin. On the other hand, she’s the first daughter of….many siblings (I couldn’t count). So, every time I ask her out she always rejected and said, “I have to take care of house,”

After we graduate from high school, I crossed the ocean and got into good public university. Friends and circle are the only reason I came back home. I wanted to make time valuable by talking with them, cheering them, look them in their face and telling them how much they mean to me.

Each time, we had only short amount of time. I always contacted my old friend when I came back, but this girl is one of the kinds. She still likes rejecting my invitation. One of my circle said that she doesn’t like being around me. I thought it was ridiculous until I couldn’t count the time she missed our moment to meet. I’m starting to believe it.

It’s not that she’s important to me. For someone who can’t even remember her neighbor’s name, it’s too great for me to be bothered by a person like her. But, you can’t ignore it when you know that someone hates you, right?

So, lately I’m trying to ignore her. I put her away from my agenda. I stop calling her when I came home. It sounds useless to call someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I don’t leave any friends, and I don’t take grudge. But, I think it’s stupid to rely on someone who doesn’t even care.

So, if you feel like you’ve been leaving me here and wondering why I never call you, this is the answer. Like anybody else, I don’t like being left behind. If you forget my name, I can forgive you since I can’t remember much either. If you don’t know where I went to school, it’s ok. But, if you reject/forfeit my invitation 3 times in a row, I don’t think I need you in my list.